Anyone who really knows my husband and I, knows that we are almost complete opposites in every way. We couldn't be more different. Different personalities, different upbringing, different approaches to conflict, different hobbies, and list goes on.
Wes probably has never had an enemy in his life. (HOW???) He is friendly to all, never rubs people the wrong way, always approachable even with bad news, happy and comfortable being himself. He is the same at home as he is out in public and thats amazing. He is just the nicest guy and loved by all!
I know I have great qualities as well, but in comparison and being real with myself: I've been known to rub some people the wrong way (I AM doing much much better now :) Im working on being more approachable and Im not the best with bad news (seriously my 1st response to anything negative is to cry-ugh!!). Im not always the most comfortable being myself except 100% w/ my husband and Ive grown a TON in the friendship department. It seems like being an extremely nice person comes easily and naturally for Wes but I've had to really grow in that area. Don't get me wrong I love helping people and I am a very loyal and real friend but my likability factor is nothing like Wes. ;-)
We grew up differently. Wes had many college graduates before him and I was the 1st in my family to go and graduate from college (my mom now has her Master's degree). He grew up with close extended family all around him and I barely know or talk to my extended family. There was financial stability for Wes and serious financial strain for us (my mom has an amazing testimony to this and now does EXTREMELY well for herself financially). He lived in one home his entire life and I moved every 2-3years being a military brat and I really enjoyed that aspect of seeing parts of the world and having many unique experiences. I could go on and on about our differences but I'm sure you get the point. Each of our personal experiences has shaped us to be the people we are today.
This is not to say that he is better than me or anything but we come from different worlds and somehow had to mesh our two worlds into one when we got married. We had to take the things we liked and leave behind the things that wouldn't work for our own family and that is not always easy but necessary.
Its funny how the things that you loved or thought was cute about your mate before you got married sometimes becomes the exact thing that drives you crazy about them during the marriage. Wes is my best friend and my favorite person ever but he can get under my skin like no other as well. In my small group at church we recently studied through a book by Gary Thomas called,
Sacred Marriage: What if God Designed Marriage to Make us Holy More than to Make us Happy?
The title alone is deep. Really?? Marriage isn't about MY happiness? WHAT?? This was blunt but wonderfully put in my opinion. Happiness is a feeling that can come and go based off circumstances. And trust me circumstances change. This doesn't mean that you should be miserable in your marriage, but just don't expect your union to only be about your happiness. If you stay married long enough there will definitely be some miserable moments as there will be amazing moments too.
The book says " The key question is this: Will we approach marriage from a God-Centered view or a man-centered view? In a man centered-view, we will maintain our marriage as long as our earthy comforts are met. In a God-centered view, we preserve our marriage because it brings glory to God and points a sinful world to a reconciling Creator." So...wow... my marriage can be used as a testimony to God and can possibly steer people towards Christ. That's AMAZING!
The things that we have learned along the way is that even though Wes and I may be such DIFFERENT people we have to be on the SAME team when it comes to our marriage. It's inevitable that we are going to get on each others nerves and that things will not always (or may never) be perfect, but God has equipped us both to bring different things to the table that really makes our relationship work. Where I'm weak he is strong and vice versa and especially when we both are weak(which is frequently), trust that God steps in to make up the difference.