Hopefully you have already read Part 1 on what I experienced while being pregnant. I hope I didn't scare anyone with my experiences, but honestly these are all the things you could read about in the, What to expect while you are expecting, book or really any other pregnancy book.
What did I experience Post pregnancy??
1. Exhaustion-again!!: It's something you just can't ever prepare for! My 1st baby actually was and still is a great sleeper but all nursing mama's understand that even if you can sleep when the baby sleeps- nursing, pumping, engorgement, other children, hunger, and life sometimes gets in the way of that rest. Not to mention the time (and worry) you spend checking in on baby just to make sure they are breathing and everything is ok.
2. Episiotomy during delivery- need I say more!! Just look it up. The healing process was no fun at all.
3. Engorgement/nursing- when your milk 1st comes in OMG the agony! lol You go to bed one way and then you wake up looking like Dolly Parton! I had ice packs, heat packs, everything for the pain. I had no real problem nursing 1st child, from the start she latched on great so outside some normal initial soreness things were good. Second baby however had difficulty latching and lets just say I had anxiety the 1st month+ whenever it was time to nurse her b/c the pain was so unbearable. I consulted a lactation specialists a few times and eventually things got much much better but I had to nurse through the pain for over a month.
4. fun water squirt bottles for your bum, big most dangerous granny panties, topical anesthetic sprays and mega sized pads - I won't go into more details here.
I could go on but I want to end with the WHY.
For it was you who created my inward parts; You knit me together in my mother's womb. I will praise You because I have been remarkably and wonderfully made. Psalms 139: 13-14
I don't know how anyone can go through pregnancy and not be a believer in God. There is no way to explain the intricate details of what happens as you grow a life, outside of Christ in my opinion. It is beautiful how our bodies can change/adjust to protect and nurture a baby. No matter how sick I was, I was also in awe of the miracle growing inside of me.
I adore my kids and even when Im exhausted at the end of the day and just can't wait for their bedtime, I actually miss them when they are sleep. I love how my two year old (Malachi) is a mini version of myself. She cracks me up daily by the things she says and does. My little "bossy boots" who tells me to be careful and slow down while I'm driving. Who asks me if I'm ok if I cough or bump into something. She tells Wes his music is too loud and to please turn it down-something I say all the time haha. Micah gives endless hugs and greets daddy at the door after a long day at work with the excitement of a puppy. Its the cutest thing EVER! Malachi makes up songs in the car and when the Curious George cartoon's intro song comes on Micah dances like she is at a party. Where did she get those moves?!?!
They melt my heart with the love they have for each other as sisters. Malachi rubs her sisters back and Micah gives Malachi hugs and kisses. They run after each other giggling, ride on the same bike together all the time, and Malachi climbs into the pack and play just to play with her sister and keep her company when Im trying to cook. Everyday I feel blessed to have both girls and it does make me regret the daily threats to Wes while pregnant, that I wasn't having another child after the 1st ;). I know that all the pain and exhaustion I experienced while pregnant and the post pregnancy craziness was completely worth it to enjoy life with these sweet girls. I would never trade all the snuggles, kisses, and hugs I get for anything in the world.
FIRST- NO, I'M NOT PREGNANT NOW!
In my small group the other day one of the couples just celebrated their 13th wedding anniversary and was sharing some marriage tips they had learned along the way. It was asked, how they decided to adopt their 2nd child which lead to a brief hilarious explanation of the wife's personal experiences while being pregnant which I could completely relate to. I was surprised by how many others in the room agreed that they did not enjoy being pregnant due to all their symptoms as well. I've talk to women who LOVE being pregnant and felt better pregnant than when not. We had ladies in the room who didn't have children yet and one commented that she loved getting the real upfront experiences because sometimes she feels like no one really talks about it- at least not in a raw unfiltered way. Maybe it always seems so glorious from the outside looking in. Before I became pregnant I only had one person EVER say to me that they didn't enjoy one bit how they felt being pregnant and explained why. She was someone who at some point was told she wouldn't be able to have kids and now has three so I know she wasn't trying to be negative. I just remember thinking wow she is the 1st person to ever be this upfront with me- no filter-and I appreciated it as well!
I am going to preface this post with 1. These are just MY personal experiences and Im going to be 100% real. This may not ever be your experience w/ pregnancy and God bless you if so! 2. I want to be sensitive to the fact that some people may be experiencing infertility and I am not trying to be negative about the blessings of pregnancy in general or seem ungrateful, just provide an opportunity to share openly what I went through. 3. Last I will break this post into 2 parts so pls try to read both parts so you can see where I'm going with this (wink, wink)
So to all the people who say you forget all the hardships of being pregnant after the baby comes...in the words of my daughter, when I ask her if she did something she is not supposed to do, "NO NOT ME!" I actually remember it as if it were yesterday but I can say it obviously doesn't affect me in the same way because after my sweet girls came I became busy loving, nurturing, and raising them but trust- I definitely remember. My favorite description of how I felt while pregnant was "like I'm dying," not that I have any clue what dying feels like but if I had to imagine... Here is my list of SOME of my biggest symptoms.
1. Nausea, nausea, and more nausea and not just what is expected in the 1st trimester- I was sick from start to finish. Record day of times I spent puking my guts out (only way to describe this b/c its really that violent for me) was 6x's and that actually happened many many days to where I was loosing weight instead of gaining at different points in my pregnancy. I threw up so much that my two year old (who witnessed it- mostly b/c what parent gets alone time in the bathroom???) would pretend to be throwing up in the trash along side me. I also almost got into an accident once while driving and throwing up on my way to work- so it scared me as well! I was on meds my entire 1st pregnancy just to be able to eat and then I just suffered through my 2nd pregnancy b/c I was afraid of the potential side effects on my baby.
2. Ive never wet my pants so many times in my life (well maybe when I was potty training as a toddler) I figured out a system b/c while I was throwing up I ALWAYS peed myself so I had to sit on toilet and throw up in trash bag at the same time. I had to keep extra clothes and extra trash bags in my car AT ALL TIMES.
3. Smells/taste buds change- contributing to the nausea. I couldn't even be in even the drive thru of Chick Fil-A w/out gagging and any of their food would cause me to throw up immediately. I was actually terrified to eat there for a while after I had my 1st child JUST from the memories. I remember craving white castle burgers one day but the smell was so bad I had to pull over and put the burgers in my trunk and drive with all the windows down just so I could breathe- I found some way to eat them and then threw it all up afterwards ;0 . If Wesley had on any cologne he couldn't be near me, b/c I wanted to gag. I absolutely love Italian food but couldn't eat it my 1st pregnancy- ugh no pizza either. I ate McDonalds sausage biscuits (almost daily) and anyone who knows me knows I don't like McDonald's meat products (yuck) and I don't eat sausage biscuits EVER! Second pregnancy I ate taco bell soft tacos about 3x's a week- another place I typically don't eat at when Im not pregnant. Ive never spent so much money eating out in my life.
4. A type of hunger that there are not words to even explain. I wasn't a mean pregnant woman unless it had something to do w/ food. You feel like you haven't eaten in weeks even if it was only a couple hours ago. I seriously cried over food probably a few times a week- esp if my order was wrong or I didn't get the exact sauces I was supposed to have. Wes has driven back to taco bell from home b/c I didn't have the specific sauce packets I needed. I had a full meltdown (tears and all) in O'charleys b/c my food took waaay too long on Mother's day which was pretty embarrassing-that poor manager! I also had periods of not even knowing what I wanted to eat that would also end in tears b/c my baby would change it up on me and decide she no longer liked a certain type of food typically right after I ordered and paid for it.
5. Lack of sleep/insomnia (btw not sure when or if this ever really fully gets normal-I guess i'll sleep when they go off to college haha). I slept a ton at the start of my pregnancy b/c of the level of exhaustion your body experiences felt like I had ran a marathon everyday even if all I was doing was laying on the couch! Then I was always super uncomfortable and between living in the bathroom to go pee every two hours or so I barely slept the last trimester.
6. I'll clump these last several experiences into one category titled- "I just want to feel normal again":
severe acid reflux, severe heartburn (I felt like I was breathing flames), gassy, 1st pregnancy-my chest and back broke out horribly- I seriously couldn't even wear a v-neck tshirt, tons of scary dreams, constipation, hemorrhoids, breathing difficulties, dizzy spells, always thirsty (I drank several gallons of water a day during my 2nd pregnancy), always feeling miserable, braxton hicks contractions, wearing the same clothes over and over again, high levels of agitation, extreme lack of emotional control, back pains, no energy, etc!!
You see pregnancy for me was not a glorious time at all. Honestly I'm terrified of getting pregnant again b/c I was MISERABLE both times before, but I would do it all over again to have my two beautiful and sweet girls. Was all of that pain and anguish worth it? ...Yes it was absolutely worth it. Did I threaten my husband daily and say I didn't want to EVER be pregnant again during each pregnancy? ...Yes!! Did I wonder what made a woman crazy enough to have more than one child?...Absolutely!!
Please check out part 2- Post pregnancy craziness :-0, but also WHY it is all worth it!