Let's be real- who enjoys being told no? When I tell my girls no to candy, they aren't too happy with my answer. If you don't get chosen for a job you really wanted or if you are trying to get pregnant and the pregnancy test says no (not pregnant), it doesn't bring about feelings of happiness. If you ask someone out on a date- you are praying for a yes I'm sure.
Maybe over time we are programmed by our feelings that a no is negative and a yes is positive. As I've matured over the years, I'm realizing that sometimes a no is actually very positive even if it may seem opposite at the time. I've spent some time recently looking over my past relationship with the word no and how much I'm growing in the following areas.
I'll be the first to admit that occasionally I have a problem with saying no. I don't know what it is but maybe I feel like I'll let someone down or I'll miss out on a great opportunity if I do. I am someone who enjoys doing. I really enjoy helping and spending time with people. However, I can see that sometimes I become overwhelmed saying yes to everything. I have no one to blame but myself when I'm in full melt down mode because I'm so tired and feeling pulled in several different directions. There is nothing wrong with doing nothing occasionally. It will not kill me to rest a bit and say no to some of the things that steal my time!
Recently I challenged myself and told my husband that I was going to go a week where I was going to decline on anything extra asked of me outside of being with my family. It lasted all of two days before I realized what I had already signed on to assist with. I also had about four more opportunities to help out placed before me within a couple of days. Long story short I started out a little rocky, but I can say I did turn down about three of the requests which is great for me. I'm also learning that I can say no without giving a whole laundry list of excuses. This was a hard lesson for me at first because I didn't want to seem rude but it's so freeing once properly mastered.
BEING TOLD NO...
I'm an emotional person and in the past I used to take being told no very personally. If I was waiting on an answer and it wasn't what I expected I would be so sad. If something didn't work out for me as planned, I would be heartbroken. I would complain and wonder why I just couldn't get a break or why everyone else around me was getting a yes in their situations. Now with the help of my super patient husband-my favorite phrase has become, "if it's for me then it's for me." My husband says, "I only want what God has for me." I'm a firm believer that if God wants me to have, give, do, or become something then it will eventually come to pass. My job is to do the things necessary to put me in the position to receive what He has for me and let God do what he does best. I cannot always control nor understand the outcome of every answer He gives...
Some of the no's I've received in the past were truly in my best interest even if I didn't see it at the time. Trust me God has saved me from some potentially crazy situations if I would have gotten my way. God knows what I need when I need it, so when I let go of the control I think I have over situations there is a peaceful place to dwell in. My attitude has gotten so much better and feelings of worry have melted away when I understand WHO is in control.
I suggest when you get some time look over your life and some of the no's that were told to you or vice versa. Think about what would have been different if the answer was Yes in those situations. Also think about which no's were not no's indefinitely but no's for that season you were in. Maybe they eventually turned to yes when you were better prepared for it. I know this is exactly the case in many areas for me!!
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not to your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he shall direct your paths. Proverbs 3: 5-6