Last year I was all about the word "grace". I was in a place in my life where I needed to be on the receiving side of grace just as much as I needed to give it out. This year I've been stuck on the idea of "taking things one day at a time." It's actually the complete opposite of what I do on a normal basis. It's like my personality doesn't always know how to do this easily.
I'm a planner and I'm always thinking twelve steps ahead of where I am. Sometimes I think I'm in control of everything and I am often humbled quickly due to that attitude. When nothing starts going as planned I know very quickly that it's God showing me that it wasn't his plan I was following. I often get stressed out trying to prepare for the unknown. I have a lot of "what if" questions that come up that typically never even happen in hindsight. This is not to say live your life with zero plans or direction because that could go just as badly, but sometimes it's ok to just take things as they come instead of worrying about things you cannot control. I'm having to remember that I don't know exactly what tomorrow, next week, or even next year holds for me; Only God knows that information. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Today has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:35 This is definitely easier said than done but there is such truth to this bible verse. Seriously if you are anything like me, you have plenty to keep you busy in the day you are currently in to add any more onto your plate. Maybe you are not like me at all and you have it all figured out. Your life and time is managed perfectly, to which I could NEVER relate to. I wish I could say that is my life but I am human and flawed so I definitely have areas in my life that I really need to improve on. I recently went back to work, only PRN, but it is still a major change to my normal full time mommy schedule I've had for the past three and a half years. I am enjoying this change in my life but sometimes I start up with the "what ifs," and I make up scenarios in my mind about this and that. It takes me having to say to myself, NICOLE none of this has occurred so just get through today only. In the midst of constant change in my life (some great and some hard) I am continually proving to myself that I am much stronger than I give myself credit for. When you get a chance, I highly suggest spending some time journaling daily about what's going on in your life. Then look back at it weeks or even months later. It's always interesting to me when I read something I wrote in the past. Many times whatever I was going through at that time seems so minute or in the distance. Sometimes I can't even believe it was something I was even worried about or stressing over in the first place. How quickly do we forget what God has either brought us out of or brought or into when our focus is off? I personally don't want to mimic an Israelite wilderness experience- wandering for longer than necessary because I just can't have faith in what I know God can do and has done in my life. How about you?
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September 2017
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