I feel like I am always waiting for or on something. Can you relate? Maybe you are waiting for the right job, waiting to to go on the next mission journey, waiting to get married, waiting to get pregnant, waiting to deliver, waiting to buy a home, waiting to go on vacation, and the list goes on. I'll be the first to say that I'm not the best with being patient. I seriously found out each pregnancy what I was having at 15 weeks because I was anxious and couldn't wait until 20weeks to find out. My running joke with my husband Wesley is that I asked God for patience so He gave me him. Let me explain 1. If you know my husband, you know he is one who takes his time with everything and 2. he is a very patient person in general. So on one hand he can drive me crazy w/ his timeliness but on the other hand he is so calm and can patiently deal with life and with me and my rush to do everything, which I'm sure can drive him crazy as well. Thank God we balance each other out.
As I wrote out some of my prayers for this year, I realized just how much I am in a season of waiting and how much I am needing God's guidance and direction. Although I'm in a place where I am longing for change and answers, Im also super excited about what this year has in store for us. There is something exciting about not having all the answers, but knowing the One who does and knowing that He cares about the desires of our hearts. There is also something very emotional about not having the answers and attempting to walk by faith. Its hard! Especially for my personality. I am a doer and a planner. I love definitive and clear answers that make sense to me, however I serve a God who can create something from nothing, whose words hold such power that he can speak something into existence. He is a God who knows all and is all and I will never fully understand Him in all His glory. He knows my whole life story from begining to end, when I barely know just what tomorrow holds.
So as I continue on this journey of learning how to walk more by faith and not by sight, I will try to enjoy the process and learn as much as I can along the way. I have to trust that God knows what He is doing without my assistance. I also want to spend more time being grateful for what God has already done in my life, which is a ton.
The apostles said to the Lord, "Increase our faith." "If you have faith the size of a mustard seed," the Lord said, "you can say to this mulberry tree, 'Be uprooted and planted in the sea,' and it will obey you. Luke 17:5-6
Sometimes I wonder if my real problem isn't patience as much as it is my level of faith... Increase MY faith Lord.