I've had many great and not so great years in my thirty-four years of life and 2017 is on my not so great list. The lady in my picture above looks to me like her jump might be a bit short to successfully make it through 2017 and into 2018 ;) and seriously that’s how I felt last year!
As much as it would be fun to pretend like I just came off an amazing year last year- I couldn't say it with a straight face. I'm also not about that life of being fake- so here goes- 2017 sucked for me!!! Initially I've been like Goodbye Felicia and good riddance and onto prayerfully better days in 2018...but read on and I promise I'll come to my senses eventually!
Just like any human, I've experience my share of ups and downs in life- that's normal. I have to say that 2017 felt like a year I got knocked down so much it took everything to get back up and keep fighting. I grew up hearing "God won't put more on you than you can bear." Which in this context felt untrue most of the year for me personally BUT the word doesn't exactly say that. We just take 1 Corinthians 10:13 to mean that maybe to make us feel better. It says God is faithful and HE won't let us be tempted beyond what we can bear and HE will provide a way out of that temptation, making the escape from sin and not from general unhappiness or life’s challenges.
God NEVER promised an easy, happy, everything going as planned type of life. In fact following God will absolutely be a challenge. When you know right you gotta do right which means it won't always be the most comfortable popular decisions to be made. I've personally questioned God all year long the exact way a child asks "but why" every time their parent says no to something. I've questioned his choices for me, because of course I believe I know better for myself. I've questioned my abilities, my own choices, and shoot sometimes I even questioned my sanity (I mean what woman with two small children hasn't done that a time or two?? ;)
"Adulting" is hard. Yes, I know I've been doing it for a while and should have the hang of it by now right?? Nope! I don't! I'm still learning and growing with each year and new decisions I make. Being a good wife, mom, friend, etc is hard! I'm a giver naturally and sometimes I don't have a proper balance so I end up giving all of me away and then in the end I'm left feeling empty and then guilty when I need time for me.
I have been blessed by the praise reports that have been shared and experienced this past year. The promotions, new career endeavors, trips, engagements, new babies, answered prayers, etc has kept me excited!!
I would be a knucklehead if I acted like God wasn't good to me this year. I have a loving, beautiful, and healthy family. My 12 years of marriage is still going strong even in the midst of life's ups and downs(I'm serious MARRIAGE IS FOR GROWN FOLKS!! It's not easy but worth it!). Thanking God I'm in my right mind!! (...well about 95% of the time... remember my 2 and 4 yr old!! Lol) and I'm healthy and I have God in my heart and life.
So why was 2017 a rough year for me?? Um...well...um(stutters) when I look at how good God has been to me and the real stuff that is ACTUALLY affecting people everyday- I really should not complain! Did I loose a family member in 2017? No! Did I have a baby hospitalized for months on end due to health issues? No Did I loose my job or file for bankruptcy? No. Did I loose a limb or have a debilitating car accident? No Did I have a empty fridge and not know where my next meal was going to come from? No. Have I been afraid for my life and displaced from my home? No. So what the hell have I been complaining about all year???
Perspective is the best medicine for me! Punches me in the gut every time!! Honestly I'm a spoiled American and I wasn't happy with 2017 because everything that I thought I should be entitled to have and wanted didn't happen in my timing. God said NO to me a bunch in 2017 and frankly it made me uncomfortable and heaven forbid I get uncomfortable for a second! I don't make New Years resolutions but one thing I am choosing to go into 2018 with on my heart is- Whatever your will is Lord let it be?
I've wasted so much time last year wallowing in the things that didn't happen for me! "It's not fair Lord-I didn't get my way"...yep I sounded just like kid! I want to start 2018 with the mindset that what God has for me IS for me. Take my hand out of stuff and fully understand that God knows the desires of my heart. He is a loving father and he knows what I need and what I don't need. His timing is always right and my track record is mostly off!
I don't expect 2018 to come and go without its own challenges but I do hope that I personally handle them better than I did in 2017! God doesn't need to change- I do!
Happy New Year everyone and enjoy the journey of God’s will for your life!!